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The New Kings of Kong

samzenpus posted 1 year,6 days | from the goodbye-billy dept.

Games 65

Daniel_Stuckey writes "Ever since Chien won the inaugural Kong Off at Richie Knucklez Arcade Games in Flemington, NJ back in 2011, Lemay has been nipping at Chien's heels. His guiding mission in life now, other than getting Hulked out at the gym, is annihilating Hank Chien at Donkey Kong. Last month, Motherboard traveled to Denver, Colorado, to attend The Kong Off 3, the highly anticipated and near-capacity Donkey Kong world championship, held at the 1UP arcade and bar. During four loopy days of shooting inside a subterranean cave of amusement, which assaulted our senses with flashing lights, blippity bloops, and killscreens, we witnessed first-hand the drama of a showdown between a video game's top contenders."

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And then what... (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,6 days | (#45677781)

Life goes on..

Re:And then what... (1)

similar_name (1164087) | 1 year,6 days | (#45677861)

How can life go on when I'm not sure who won?f

Re:And then what... (2)

Joce640k (829181) | 1 year,6 days | (#45678489)

Jeff Willms won with 1,096,200.

Chien was third with 1,056,900

Re:And then what... (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,6 days | (#45678901)

I'm sorry, but your post doesn't help.

I read TFA and it's about two guys.

One guy is called Hank Chien and he's the champion, 39, and a doctor.

The other guy is called Vincent Lemay and is 22, a self proclaimed "meatheat" and is trying to win the title.

I still don't know out of these two guys who beat who. You've told me another person, "Jeff Willms" came in first and that Hank Chien came in third. Did Vincent come in second? Did he not place at all?

I did some Googling to try and work it out for myself. Here's the official page (http://www.thekongoff.com/) which is throwing a 404 at the moment. The Facebook page is here (https://www.facebook.com/KongOff) and luckily posts the top 5.

1. Jeff Willms 1,096,200
2. Ross Benziger 1,067,100
3. Hank Chien 1,056,900
4. Steve Wiltshire 1,053,200
5. Steve Wiebe 1,048,800

OK, now it's clearer.

Basically this story is about a young cocky dickhead called Vincent who thinks he has a shot at the title and thinks he's a pretty special kind of guy. Not only did he not beat the champ, but he didn't even make the top five.

I've just wasted ten minutes getting my head around this *BULLSHIT* article on Slashdot and now I'm going to go get some work done.

I don't think I'll bother reading Slashdot again, it's really done its dash.

Reading Comprehension much? (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,6 days | (#45679849)

So, the fact that Lemay finished 10th which was right in the article you claim to have read ... you just missed that?

Or you chose to ignore it so you could go on your little "Slashdot was better back in the day" rant.

Re:And then what... (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,6 days | (#45678057)

There is only suffering.

Thankless, soul-crushing work followed by empty home life, with sparse and unsatisfying periods of respite, followed by death.

What more is there.

Sooo Many Games... (3, Funny)

EETech1 (1179269) | 1 year,6 days | (#45677797)

If I had a nickel for every time I stuffed a quarter in that game...

Even just the times I played while wearing roller skates...

Re:Sooo Many Games... (1)

c0lo (1497653) | 1 year,6 days | (#45677865)

If I had a nickel for every time I stuffed a quarter in that game...

Just sayin' ... (not that is relevant in any way, but ... hey... its precise; precision should worth something, aint it? :)... So what was I saying? Oh yes.
if you'd have that nickel back, you'd still had spent 2 dimes per game.

Re:Sooo Many Games... (2, Funny)

JustOK (667959) | 1 year,6 days | (#45678561)

nickleback sucks!

Re:Sooo Many Games... (3, Interesting)

BringsApples (3418089) | 1 year,6 days | (#45677879)

omfg dude, the memories that you just spawned off in me! I had totally forgotten about arcade gaming with skates on. I think it was a custom to SLAM the bumper of the skate into the bottom of the game in order to use it to stop yourself. And when you die, faaade backwards, back to the rink. Jesus Christ, I can almost smell the place, and feel that cold air breeze that seems to come along with all rinks.

Thanks!

Re:Sooo Many Games... (1)

EETech1 (1179269) | 1 year,6 days | (#45678215)

Are you staying for Sock Hop?

Re:Sooo Many Games... (1)

wonkey_monkey (2592601) | 1 year,6 days | (#45678255)

omfg dude, you just spawned off in me!

What happens when you read things too quickly on a Friday morning.

Re:Sooo Many Games... (1)

BringsApples (3418089) | 1 year,6 days | (#45679315)

Friday the 13th, no doubt!

Re:Sooo Many Games... (1)

MonkeyPaw (8286) | 1 year,6 days | (#45682961)

And when you die, faaade backwards, back to the rink.

That's pretty funny. I remember doing that as well. But I didn't until you brought it up.

Never mind Kong, what about Pong?! (1)

haruchai (17472) | 1 year,6 days | (#45677823)

If you're going to go old school, do it right.

Re:Never mind Kong, what about Pong?! (1)

c0lo (1497653) | 1 year,6 days | (#45677885)

If you're going to go old school, do it right.

Do it right, you say? Let me try...
The New Pings of Pong

Hey, whaddya know??!! As worthy of /. as the current title
(killin' time... /. bein' good at it, looks like)

Re:Never mind Kong, what about Pong?! (1)

phantomfive (622387) | 1 year,6 days | (#45678135)

Pong wasn't the oldest computer game, by a long shot......

Re:Never mind Kong, what about Pong?! (1)

haruchai (17472) | 1 year,6 days | (#45679333)

Spacewar wasn't very common in arcades and doesn't rhyme with Kong.

Re:Never mind Kong, what about Pong?! (1)

phantomfive (622387) | 1 year,6 days | (#45681519)

Spacewar wasn't the oldest computer game either.

Re:Never mind Kong, what about Pong?! (1)

haruchai (17472) | 1 year,6 days | (#45684005)

So what was?

Re:Never mind Kong, what about Pong?! (1)

phantomfive (622387) | 1 year,6 days | (#45684061)

Probably insulting people [bit.ly] . I had an EDSAC emulator that had an old tic-tac-toe routine......

Re:Never mind Kong, what about Pong?! (1)

haruchai (17472) | 1 year,6 days | (#45684221)

Again, I'm talking about arcade games or something the general public would have had access to.

Re:Never mind Kong, what about Pong?! (1)

gl4ss (559668) | 1 year,6 days | (#45678551)

no point system.

in dk, there's sufficient skill involved and also a slight bit of luck.

it's not like pacman either where you can just keep playing till the crash stage.

Bad summary (1)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,6 days | (#45677827)

Who won the stupid game?

Expect me to read a 1500 word article on stupid game do you? I already put my time in with that movie. I think you greatly overestimate how much I care about who has the hi score.

Re:Bad summary (1)

wonkey_monkey (2592601) | 1 year,6 days | (#45678265)

I think you greatly overestimate how much I care about who has the hi score.

Who won the stupid game?

Re:Bad summary (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,6 days | (#45678327)

Misquote, out of context, point in original is winner should be in summary reading whole article two much of a chore, ok?

Re:Bad summary (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,6 days | (#45678759)

I don't think misquote means what you think it means.

Re:Bad summary (1)

vux984 (928602) | 1 year,6 days | (#45678655)

? your point ?

He cares enough to catch the name of the winner in a 5 line summary, but not enough to read a 1500 word article.

Seems pretty reasonable to me.

Re:Bad summary (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,6 days | (#45681221)

Jeff Willms

Yes, the whole article is about two people in "fierce" competition who aren't even the top two.
Chien ended up third, and the other guy ended 10th.

It is a stupid summary of a stupid article.

get a life (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,6 days | (#45677941)

Do something productive with your life, develop a real skill. Like cure the sick, help the poor, etc.

Re:get a life (1)

bill_mcgonigle (4333) | 1 year,6 days | (#45677959)

Like cure the sick, help the poor, etc.

Become a surgeon, perhaps?

Re: get a life (3, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,6 days | (#45678017)

What have you done then, o great life liver! Tell us all your great deeds so we may applaud you!

Re:get a life (1)

c0lo (1497653) | 1 year,6 days | (#45678019)

Do something productive with your life, develop a real skill. Like cure the sick, help the poor, etc.

Why stop at this?
I mean, there's endless possibilities, like: heal the sick, cure all disease, drive out demons, open blind eyes, heal the broken hearted, walk on the water, turn water into wine, raise the dead, etc.
Some say there was someone that did all of the above. How's the world better now because of it?

(my point: you are free to consider it a waste of time for yourself. But why cast stones on those who see it otherwise?)

Re:get a life (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,6 days | (#45678191)

... says the guy wasting time on slashdot.

Re:get a life (3, Insightful)

phantomfive (622387) | 1 year,6 days | (#45678231)

Do something productive with your life, develop a real skill.

Not to dissuade from your rant, but that is, in fact, a real skill.

Does old school DK go pattern? (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,6 days | (#45677979)

Is old school DK just a pattern after a while, or is it pseudo-random enough to keep you on your toes?

Re:Does old school DK go pattern? (3, Insightful)

bigwheel (2238516) | 1 year,6 days | (#45679117)

Mostly pattern. We used to maintain notebooks with the winning routes.

Same with most of the original old-school games. However, later versions of most games were more random than their originals.

Re:Does old school DK go pattern? (1)

freeze128 (544774) | 1 year,6 days | (#45680535)

So it's pretty much established that you can get a high score on DK by using patterns. How well would these fellows fare at playing a different game? Is DK the only thing at which they can excel?

Lets face it, saying that you got high score on a 30+ year old video game by using patterns is not that impressive. Go back to 1983, and you'll be a hero. Today, you're just another loser.

Re:Does old school DK go pattern? (1)

phantomfive (622387) | 1 year,6 days | (#45683353)

Lets face it, saying that you got high score on a 30+ year old video game by using patterns is not that impressive. Go back to 1983, and you'll be a hero. Today, you're just another loser.

No one's a loser for doing what they love.

Re:Does old school DK go pattern? (1)

BancBoy (578080) | 1 year,4 days | (#45692113)

What if you love losing?

Re:Does old school DK go pattern? (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,5 days | (#45686169)

There are methods one can use in playing Dk, but they are not 100% foolproof patterns like people use in other games. There's a significant enough element of randomness to DK that it forces you to never go on autopilot and to stay completely focused -hence why it is considered to be one of the hardest arcade games of all time.

Re:Does old school DK go pattern? (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,6 days | (#45685075)

DK is not patternable. That's why it's so popular and highly-revered. The barrels and fireballs move according to a PRNG that makes every board unique.

Meathead? (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,6 days | (#45678013)

Hulked out at the gym? He looks like he curls and that's it.

Re:Meathead? (1)

Mike Buddha (10734) | 1 year,6 days | (#45682193)

Totally, bro.

buy-ch (-1)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,6 days | (#45678169)

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Summary respects hose dongle nack (2)

Max Threshold (540114) | 1 year,6 days | (#45678175)

It wasn't until I got to the link that I had any idea what the fuck I was reading about.

:0 That's my home town! I know this arcade. (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,6 days | (#45678253)

Small world we live in isn't it?

Re::0 That's my home town! I know this arcade. (1)

pspahn (1175617) | 1 year,6 days | (#45678413)

It was on the news several times, it had full page ads in The Westword, ads on the radio, and posters all over town. Yet, you seem surprised to hear about this. Did you just get back from active duty or something? Or maybe you just don't get out enough to realize Denver is actually kind of a happenin' place.

Huh? (5, Insightful)

wonkey_monkey (2592601) | 1 year,6 days | (#45678287)

Ever since Chien (who?) won the inaugural Kong Off (the what?) at Richie Knucklez Arcade Games in Flemington, NJ back in 2011, Lemay (who?)has been nipping at Chien's (who again?) heels. His guiding mission in life now, other than getting Hulked out at the gym, is annihilating Hank Chien at Donkey Kong (ah!). Last month, Motherboard (who or what?) traveled to Denver, Colorado (okay, now you're just making up words)

Re:Huh? (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,6 days | (#45681113)

You know what Donkey Kong is but you can't piece together what a Kong Off is? Stupid

Re:Huh? (1)

psithurism (1642461) | 1 year,6 days | (#45683457)

you can't piece together what a Kong Off is

I know all about Konging Off! I Kong off all the time; in fact I'm Konging off right now.

You know what Donkey Kong is

Actually, I'm only 30; It was only recently that some old guys explained to me that Donkey Kong was not invented in that psuedo-3d game for the super Nintendo (which I imagined this story was about). Apparently, it has something to do with Mario (that guy I know from Super Mario 3). I've never seen the original game.

Re:Huh? (1)

wonkey_monkey (2592601) | 1 year,5 days | (#45691483)

Yes, I know what Donkey Kong is. But since the word "Donkey" doesn't show up until the end of the second sentence, I think I might be forgiven for thinking that perhaps submitters should take a little more care with what they write - sorry, what they copy and paste - and that editors might be better off taking a glance themselves and, y'know, editing once in a while.

Who do we blame here? (1)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,6 days | (#45678661)

Daniel_Stuckey for writing a terrible summary or samzenpus for posting the terrible summary?

The missing part (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,6 days | (#45679075)

Chien took third, some guy not even mentioned in the article despite being last year's winner took first, and Lemay took 10th.

DK requires no skill just patience (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,6 days | (#45679109)

If you watch some clips , there playing is very conservative. Requires little skill just patience to navigate the levels

Re:DK requires no skill just patience (1)

greg1104 (461138) | 1 year,5 days | (#45690081)

Conservative Donkey Kong play does not get you a world record. The bonus for finishing a board goes down faster than you can sustain earning points once all the hammers are gone. That means that the faster you get through the low scoring parts of the board, the higher your score. And with only a limited number of boards to play before the kill screen, the core of top tier play is balancing how much risk you're willing to take on to finish the board with higher points. If you are too conservative, even if you make it to the kill screen you'll lose too many bonus points to approach record territory. That's why runs all the way to the kill screen used to be good if they hit 850,000 points, but nowadays people are pulling over a million through the same path. Players are increasing their risk to get more points.

At the first Kong Off I bought a cheap DVD from Steve Wiebe with a video of his entire world record game, that's available for other people to study. Mixed in with some boring waiting games are amazingly skilled sections of jumping and timing.

I suppose you could say... (1)

Chris Mattern (191822) | 1 year,6 days | (#45679153)

(glasses) ...it's on.

(YEEEEAAAAHHHHH!!)

Turn it into a real LAN party (1)

slashmydots (2189826) | 1 year,6 days | (#45679657)

I'd love to troll them by going there and basically turning it into Xbox Live meets every LAN party ever. I'd start swearing at Donkey Kong and calling his mother a whore and accusing him of aimbotting and cheating and hacking and exploit-using and stealing my loot drops.

Re:Turn it into a real LAN party (1)

Mike Buddha (10734) | 1 year,6 days | (#45682209)

So get good at Donkey Kong.

Near capacity? (1)

DerekLyons (302214) | 1 year,6 days | (#45681077)

"the highly anticipated and near-capacity Donkey Kong world championship, held at the 1UP arcade and bar."

*Yawn* looking at the images I can find on the web, "capacity" is maybe a couple of hundred people. You'd have to have a very narrow special interest or live in a very remote area to *not* be able to gather that kind of 'crowd'.

Re:Near capacity? (1)

wonkey_monkey (2592601) | 1 year,5 days | (#45691697)

You'd have to have a very narrow special interest or live in a very remote area to *not* be able to gather that kind of 'crowd'.

I'm President of the Ascension Island chapter of the Doctor Who (Classic Series) Appreciation Society, you insensitive clod!

What the hell did I just read? (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,6 days | (#45681905)

What the hell did I just read?

Is it a sequel or remake? (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,6 days | (#45682235)

Is it a sequel or remake of this one [imdb.com] ?

Glory Days (1)

hurfy (735314) | 1 year,6 days | (#45683871)

Just let me know if anyone wants to be the world champion of Space Duel. Til then i am still claiming it !
Ah, the good old days. Was traveling with a Drum Corps at the time and set high scores on every single machine i came across all over the country for a few years from Seattle's Space Needle to Disneyworld.

Didn't see how long that takes them to do. I went up to 45 min per game of Space Duel and that was a LOT of little asteroids :)

Hmm, almost everyone one of those scores was higher than the current world record :/

Re:Glory Days (1)

Jack Griffin (3459907) | 1 year,5 days | (#45686983)

I used to be pretty good at Bombjack. My high score of 1.4 Million and highest level 39 was at least twice as good as anything I've ever seen. Until the Internet that is. Apparently the record is over 50 million...
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